Sometimes, I just can’t stand stupid ignorant people. I feel like almost everyone in this video would vote for Palin.
And a great response from this blog post called “Why I will Never Date a White Guy: Asian Girl/White Guy Not for Me.“ Love it.
Last week at work, a white male co-worker was shocked when I told him that I prefer dating Korean/Asian men. When I then pointed out that all my ex-boyfriends have been Korean, he was literally stunned (edit – this was the same coworker who told me that he thought this socially awkward geek we know in the office would end up w/an asian girl since so many of us are so desperate to date white…he then stated that he can say this to me because I clearly do not fall in that category).
STUNNED. He acted as though I had made a huge sacrifice by forgoing the opportunity to be with a white guy, also known as “God’s gift to women” in his eyes (gag me now).
Little did I know that my nonchalant, casual comment would soon spread like wildfire. I had people coming up to me (both men and women) saying, “Is it really true that you only date Asian guys?” They treated my casual comment on my dating preference as a true shocker of the year. In my humble opinion, there is no way that such a reaction (shock, stunned, surprised, etc) would have occurred if I were, say Jewish or Black, and said that I preferred Jewish or Black men. So why is it such a shocker that I, as an Asian woman, would prefer dating an Asian man? Because this country has had a long (and I mean LONG) history of desexualizing and trivializing Asian men to the point that the masses just accept these stereotypes as being true. Let’s face it – Asian guys do have it a lot harder in this country than Asian women. Asian women have a history of being portrayed and seen as the sweet, submissive, Me-Love-You-Long- Time girl. And on the flip side, we have been viewed as being overly sexual for the white man’s pleasure (again, gag me now).
Hollywood stereotypes stemming from characters like Long Duck Dong in Sixteen Candles have caused irreparable harm to the image of an Asian guy in this country (F**k you, John Hughes).
While white men were the white knight, capable of saving the day AND getting the girl, the Asian guy was just the chump or the one-dimensional moron incapable of being attractive.
However, growing up in a heavily Asian populated city, I always had Korean/Asian friends. I socialized with them, watched Korean dramas and idolized Korean boybands. In other words, I had an ALTERNATIVE viewpoint from Hollywood and the white man’s land that showed me that Asian men CAN be sexy, gallant, generous, talented, multifaceted and complex. My alternative media showed me different portrayals of Korean/Asian men not shown in America, which allowed me to not buy into the stereotypes and ridiculous bullshit that was being sold.
What you looking at?
However, I have noticed that some Asian women DO buy into that shit. And it’s both sad and irritating. While I have nothing against two random people falling in love by chance (Asian/White/Black/Whatever), I DO think it’s pathetic and lame when an Asian American woman proclaims, “I only date white men” or “I don’t date Asian guys.” Not only do I think it’s pathetic, I think they sound pathetic and just really, really stupid. Then when you ask these women why, they list a bunch of reasons that sounds more like it came from Hollywood Stereotypes 101 (unintentionally affirming that yes, they really ARE that stupid). Edit - Discriminating against YOUR OWN race is pathetic because it makes you a self-loathing person. To want to date someone who SHARES your background, race, religion, etc. is NOT the same as excluding those who do. (So to the people calling me hypocritical, get a fucking clue. Thank you.)
The truth is, one of the reasons I would never want to date a white guy because I would never want to be perceived by the outside world as being THAT girl (THAT girl has the attributes that I am strongly against and would NEVER want to be associated with. Yes, these are the girls that make me want to vomit). Yes, I will sound like a bitch but fuck it, let me be honest - while THAT GIRL tends to mistakenly flaunt being with a white guy, I wouldn’t want to walk with my white boyfriend in public for fear of looking like THAT girl. The thought of having anything in common with girls that make me want to vomit is not okay with me (but that is NOT the reason why I don’t want to date a white guy. I just don’t want to even resemble THAT GIRL because that is NOT who I am). Moreover, I don’t want to be a seen as someone who bought into the bullshit that white media have been trying to sell about Asian guys for decades.
Edit – NONE of my friends are THAT GIRL. In fact, in our circle, being THAT GIRL meant you couldn’t get an Asian guy to like you anyway. Sad. Too bad that viewpoint is never shown in America.
One of my biggest fears is looking like this idiot: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ft_kY5KgCnE
Seriously, readers, what sucks more? Racist idiots or the self-loathing folks so desperate to sell out their own people and culture for white approval? Hmmm…tough call, ain’t it? (I choose the latter).
Let’s not forget that (in my own experience), the white guys who ARE into Asian girls tend to be Creepy. Weird. Losers. Weird. Dorks. And Weird. Personally, a cool white guy has never approached me because these objectively cool white guys have plenty of options (mostly other cool white women). They don’t need to look outside their own dating pool to dip into some Suzie-Wong- Me-Love –You-Long-Time action. And if I hear “I once dated an Asian girl” come out of another white guy’s mouth as his opening line, I just might punch him. So if my choice is between some weird, creepy, stereotype-clutching white guy or holding out for my Asian prince (see below, Mr. Coffee Prince, July 4, haha), I will hold out for my prince any day of the week.
And of course there’s the convenience factors – a Korean/Asian guy is more likely to understand my own struggles as a minority in the industry and in this country; we will likely enjoy eating the same foods (even if it’s kimchee everyday); and hopefully, he will be able to communicate with my parents and the rest of my family… at the very least, understand what they are saying OR implicitly understand the cultural values that are almost innate to us.
Plus, I am attracted to Asian guys…and no, NOT LONG DUCK DONG.
** Note: I have nothing against interracial dating…but it is just not for me. Furthermore, these rules don’t apply to Asian men who score non-Asian women. Kudos to them for finding someone who isn’t blindly following the definition of what an Asian man is “supposed to be.”
Just to clarify. I’m not an Asian activist. I’ve dated girls from all races. And yes, this happens. I guess the real question falls into: how do you change this perception?
View Comments so far ↓
1 Asian Guy Gets The White Girl // Oct 9, 2008 at 9:31 am
People who believe what they see on tv are idiots. How to change this perception? Control the media.
2 Asian Guy Gets The White Girl // Oct 9, 2008 at 9:34 am
People who believe what they see on tv are idiots. How to change this perception? The media is the key. Changing the stereotype in the media will eventually change the perception. I’m not saying that this is the panacea to the problem but a step in the right direction.
3 Joanne // Dec 4, 2008 at 3:49 pm
I have many mixed feelings about this because I’ve only dated white guys and some of these comments kind of piss me off. Then again, there is some truth in all this.
I am not THAT girl. The reason why I’ve only dated white guys is because there are NO asian guys that live where I do. And the few that do don’t find me attractive and vice versa. Why? Maybe ’cause I’m taller than most Asian guys (I’m close to 5’8) and the few that are “maybes” don’t find me attractive ’cause of my height and tomboyish & nerdy personality….and then I don’t like them ’cause of their materialistic…ism.
As for the creepers who find Asian girls attractive, very true. But I stay away from that.
Would I like to date an Asian guy? Yeah! They would understand my culture more and get why I don’t interact with my parents all that well and why we take off our fucking shoes in the house. But I think I’d have to move to Orange County for that to happen
4 Alex // Dec 14, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Kudos to the girl who wrote this article. I agree on every part of this article. I don’t have anything against other races nor oppose inter-racial dating, but from my experience, Asian girls who date White guys which we call “Twinky” in my circle are the ones who can’t seem to make the Asian guys to like them. Just as mentioned in the article about cool White guy having no problem finding a girl within his own pool, really cool, pretty Asian girls have no problem finding Asian guys. Inter-racial dating seems to happen lot more in the West coast than the East coast, but from my experience I rarely see really pretty Asian girl dating a White guy. (I also hardly ever see really pretty White girl dating an Asian guy.) In short, I really don’t see inter-racial couples who both look great. Oh, one thing I have to clarify is that I am an Asian guy and I have many friends from different backgrounds (Whites, Blacks, Hispanics and of course Asians) but the perception of beauty on Asian girls usually vary. For example, most men from different backgrounds have common sense of beauty when it comes to white woman but when it comes to Asian woman, White guys thinking some particular Asian look is not necessarily considered a good look amongst Asian guys. This being said, the whole point I am trying to make is that no matter what your race is, if you are confident and good looking, you won’t have problem dating a pretty girl within your gene pool. There has been many studies regarding this, blond, blue-eyed males are statistically more attracted to blond, blue-eyed females, Asians guys are more attracted to other Asians girls, blacks to blacks and etc.. I understand that love has no boundaries but these basic laws of attraction must be imbedded in our genes. Just like everything with genes, environment plays a huge role and depending on how someone was brought up, this innate attraction may change. I am not a racist but I do hate those stereotypes from different races. I love dating other girls from different backgrounds, may they be White, Black, Asian, the color doesn’t really matter as long as they are attractive to me, however as you all know so many people in America fall into that stereo types that I detest. Because so many girls fall into that stereotype, it seems like I have more chance of meeting very attractive girl from my own race. Just as I mentioned previously, really pretty girl with good personality, may she be white or from other background usually have no problem finding a boyfriend within her usual circle thus why would she date me? (I believe I am a good looking Asian guy btw.) Look at it this way, if I had a choice of 2 girls, equally very pretty and have great personalities but one was Asian and other was White, I would choose the Asian girl over the White girl because everything being equal, the Asian girl would relate better with my parents and relatives but also understand the Asian culture better. Well feel free to comment and I would love to hear from you all… Thanks
5 LCFR // Feb 7, 2009 at 5:28 pm
I agree with the girls in regards to dating white guys, I personally dont have a problem dating an Asian girl one because of the family oriented mentallity and also that I like a woman who cherishes intelligence another factor will be their rich culture which I find interesting.
Sadly, here in Australia alot of the Asian girls g for the Blond Blue Eyed boys. I am half Greek – Half Israeli guy who is intelligent and funny but I am sort of in a stage that I see Asian girls acting completely cheap (in my eyes) sleeping around with white guys whom they pick up in clubs.
I travel for business to Korea and China and I have developed a liking for those cultures but I dont even approach Asian girls these days as I find them to be very shallow and looks oriented.
I own a very successful security firm and when sometimes I go to do a shift at one of our venues those girls will not look at us (security officers) twice but a couple of them have seeing me getting into my car and the next week they are trying so hard to flirt and pick me up even though I have seeing them with their “white Boy” boyfriends, I cant personally help but making them feel so little as at the end of the day to me any kind of girl who acts like that is “second hand goods”
6 Winner // Apr 16, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Lots and lots of assumptions about people based entirely on the race of their significant other. I can certainly understand strong reactions to the words and actions of others when they have an immediate impact on your own life. That having been said, I think you’ve got big problems of your own to attend to when someone else’s dating choices stir up such a passionate response. And I think its a poor reflection upon someone when they rule out an entire group of people just to prove they aren’t THAT anything. How would it sound if I said that I wasn’t going to consider dating black girls to guarantee that I was never confused with someone suffering from “jungle fever”?
I don’t care if you don’t date white guys. Why do you care if my Asian-born girlfriend does?
7 That Guy // May 9, 2009 at 9:20 pm
You know the funny thing is that this stupid stereotype of Asian guys we see in mass media in the US is also brainwashing Asian girls who are new to the country.
I went to dinner one night with some of my friends including this one girl from China who is currently studying in the US. One of my friend (white) jokingly asked if she dated an Asian guy yet since all her boyfriends so far are white.
Her response was disturbing: She pretty much said that she likes guys who are muscular and tall and that Asian guys are all short, skinny, and not good looking (I assume she meant doesn’t have defined cheek bone, blue eyes, blond hair).
First off, I’m not Asian and even I was offended by this comment. Second off, one of my good buddy, who is Chinese, was sitting right there with us and she still said all those things as though it was a fact of life.
I think it is sad that some Asian girls in the US would only date white men just because of their race because they perceive that it will greatly increase their social acceptance into a predominantly white society. Sad, sad, sad.
8 Nick // May 21, 2009 at 1:29 am
I agree that it’s ignorant for an Asian woman to only date a man based off race. But for you to refuse to date a white man because of HIS race is honestly pathetic. Just because a man is white does not mean he automatically assumed he was better than any other guy. Since when did life become a game of impressing other people? If you like a person, so be it. You even state how this isn’t the main reason. But then you state that any Asian women that dates a white man is buying into bullshit? You need to take a step back and reflect on what really matters. What if I refused to date any Asian women simply because I don’t want to be with that girl who’s seen as some “me love you long time” slut. Grow up.
9 LCFR // May 21, 2009 at 1:42 am
Since when do you try to get validation from a girl either Asian or white or whatever. If a girl is not into you for whaever reason the its her loss and who cares what BS comes out of her mouth.
Just laugh at her when she gets dumbed for being too stupid, and go find a nice girl whom you can communicate with.
10 Fox // Jun 9, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Omg, this it total bull. You really think the media in america is trying to make asian males pale in comparison to white guys? Do you know how racist that is. Do you really think that hollywood is trying to make white guys the manly hero or have you forgotten actors like Bruce Lee and Jet Li. Bruce Lee had an 8 pack and created his own martial art. Not only the fact that his wife was white! And Jet Li is a total badass in all his movies, sure he’s not a built marine who carries a gatling gun but he is skilled in his own way. Asian guys and white guys are different and thats not a bad thing! If you really think the media is brainwashing asian women into liking white guys and not asian then you are a fucking idiot. Your just trying to put blame everything else on why asian girls date white guys when it could just be that they like them.
And Fyi, like in Korea or china, the media stimulates its culture so when you see alot of cool korean guys on t.v. remember that they are actors who are supposed to look good just like the guys here in america, black , white, hispanic , and asian, look good here. Sure there isnt alot of asian actors but that doesnt mean that there wont be. Maybe if you were really secure with yourselves you wouldnt feel the need to blame everything else, cause lets face it, if your really wasting time complaing about this stupid thing then you must be really self concious. AMERICA IS A MELTING POT, GET OVER IT!
11 LCFR // Jun 9, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Guys you know what? Who cares if you come across a chick who says “I only date white guys” Just be a prick to her and say “How sad for you, are you difformer of something and Asian guys dont want you? or something silly like that.
Us guys are spending too much time asking for approval from women- work on yourselves and pursue your own goals and ambitions and when you are successful then those same women that didnt look at you twice will be all over you then you can play them and then dump them after.
12 WTF // Jun 16, 2009 at 4:00 am
Why is every one so racist seriously Asian girls aren’t pretty blah blah guckibg blah Asian girls are cheek and shallow excuse me I’m a *******g Asian girl and I’m so terribly sorry that since I grew up in Australia that I can’t me a real Aussie coz of my skin colour? This me love you long time BS is so bloody racist I can freaking speak English. So what if in dating a white guy it’s because I love his personality not coz I want a hot blonde guy with blue eyes. Honestly I wouldn’t date any racist jerk .
13 WTF // Jun 16, 2009 at 4:03 am
Typos it’s cheap not cheek and ******* not guckibg I’m on my iPod can’t type properly
14 LCFR // Jun 16, 2009 at 8:50 am
WTF Are you from Australia? I am sorry I had to laugh but hey its your opinion did you say blonds are hot? U R So Funniiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Anyway, we use Aussies for target practice or punching bags in my area LOL LOL LOL!
15 WTF // Jun 18, 2009 at 4:26 am
where are you from? fag land..
Read the comment properly, its relating to other comments, i didnt physically say that blonde guys are hot. geez. and stop generalizing, not ALL asian girls go around sleeping with white guys,
16 Lucifer // Jun 18, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Cant help my selective reading:) Anyway, so WTF which part of Syd are you from??
17 WTF // Jun 19, 2009 at 1:49 am
Melbourne actually
18 Lucifer // Jun 19, 2009 at 2:12 am
Melbourne I like Melb, I found people to be more polite and civilised than Syd.
what you up to tonight?
19 WTF changes name to Leslie // Jun 19, 2009 at 6:57 am
wow yea Sydneys a hole no offence
20 Lcfr // Jun 19, 2009 at 2:09 pm
None taken
U r not wrong there dude, my best mate went to Melbourne for 3 weeks now he is not coming back. I’d like to expand my company to Melbourne one day I wouldnt mind moving somewhere where people actually use their minds once in a while.
21 Raj // Jun 21, 2009 at 9:25 pm
It’s nice to see an Asian girl who isn’t pathetic for a change.I admire you for having pride.Your parents must be part of the small group of Asians that actually have pride. But I have to disagree with one major point of this article. I really don’t believe the media bashes Asian men. I see tough Asian guys on tv all the time. Chow yun fat and Simon Yam have been in major American movies. I see triads, yakuza, and martial artists on tv all the time. Harold and Kumar was also a huge hit. I love Mr. Miyagi. He was in no way feminine.Why do asians say martial artists don’t count. Of course it counts. I think Asian men and women who claim it’s media brainwashing are just using it as an excuse. The reality is that it is the parents of all these Asians that taught them that white people are superior. It’s just a part of asian culture. It’s so obvious. Chinese people have English names in their own cities and countries like Singapore and Hong kong.Asians just don’t want to admit that their culture is pathetic so they blame the media. This has nothing to do with the media. It is just simply what is taught in their culture. It’s pathetic and sad.
PS All those asian chicks have been exposed to Asian dramas because their parents watch them. That means that even if american media bashed Asian men(which it doesn’t), the girls would have still been exposed to masculine asian guys in asian dramas. The whole media excuse is complete bullshit. One more thing. Men of other ethnicities, like mine for example, get bashed on tv all the time. But women from these ethnicites don’t sell out because their parents didn’t teach them to loathe themselves.
22 brad // Aug 25, 2009 at 11:59 pm
now everyone can have an Asian girlfriend, just make your current g/f “Asian” here’s how
http://japansugoi.com/wordpress/how-to-talk-and-act-like-a-japanese-girl/
23 chinyere // Sep 4, 2009 at 1:22 pm
okay now some of those blogs are plain crazy and stupid. i am african(nigeria). and if you have noticed ther is like a million stereotypes on africans out there but i dont give a rats ass. race or stereotypes don’t matter to me. i would go with an asian,african american,hispanic, jewish what ever. its all about personality and believes(GOD)and that you respect my culture and i respect yours.
24 Dorothy // Sep 24, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Quoting from the blog entry: “Let’s not forget that (in my own experience), the white guys who ARE into Asian girls tend to be Creepy. Weird. Losers. Weird. Dorks. And Weird. Personally, a cool white guy has never approached me because these objectively cool white guys have plenty of options (mostly other cool white women).” Pretty shallow if you ask me. Who’s operating along stereotypes now? I agree there is an unforgivable desexualization of Asian American men. But to go to this end, it’s no better. I am half Vietnamese, half white, born in CA, raised “white”. I have always been attracted to white men. Just happens that way. Of course I’d be open to any color, including Asian, it’s just never happened.
25 air jordan 16 // Jul 6, 2010 at 10:48 pm
I like to come here, I sincerely hope here will be a place of internet communication of travelling amateur.I believe that there are many problemsfor you about travelling.But here can solve all of your problems.So I like it very much,it let me make sme friends here. Recently,I found some fashion websites, there are many things very suitable for you, go and see.The website is Nike Zoom Blur Low
Leave a Comment